Bipolar Disorder: Trick Or Treat!
Iris: Halloween isn’t until the end of the month. You’re a few weeks early.
Bipolar Disorder: But I want candy!
Iris: It’s not time for handing out candy yet. And, you’re a mood disorder; not a costumed child.
Bipolar Disorder: GIVE me some candy!
Iris: I don’t think we’re really understanding each other very well.
Bipolar Disorder: You think I’m misunderstanding you?
Iris: It does appear that way. Since you keep asking for candy.
Bipolar Disorder: Yeah, well I’m bored!
Iris: And you want this to be my problem, why?
Bipolar Disorder: I’m bored with all the self-care you do. I’m bored with your stability. Mood stability is BORING!!
Iris: I rather like my mood being stable.
Bipolar Disorder: Yeah, and you’re boring. I want to liven things up a little this month!
Iris: Yes, I know you have been trying to do that, haven’t you?
Bipolar Disorder: Wasn’t it fun the other week? Getting only a little bit of sleep that one night, and then waking up with that new short story ready to write?
Iris: Well, yes. That was fairly pleasant.
Bipolar Disorder: And you did a great job catching the whole thing before it faded from your dream.
Iris: Er, thanks.
Bipolar Disorder: You don’t seem very convinced you should be thanking me.
Iris: I don’t believe you have my best interest at heart. No offense.
Bipolar Disorder: Sure I do! Expansive thoughts! Flights of ideas! I can give you all that! If you just give me some more candy!
Iris: More candy? I don’t eat candy.
Bipolar Disorder: That coconut drink you had yesterday was just the stuff. I want more of that!
Iris: I didn’t sleep well last night after drinking that sugary thing.
Bipolar Disorder: Yeah, isn’t it great?!
Iris: No. I would like to return to my usual good sleep hygiene, thank you very much.
Bipolar Disorder: You’re not very cooperative.
Iris: I don’t see that it would benefit me much to be very cooperative with you.
Bipolar Disorder: But what about that short story? Don’t I deserve some thanks for that?
Iris: You can’t take all the credit for my short story.
Bipolar Disorder: But, you don’t dream like that when you’re properly medicated. You said that yourself.
Iris: That’s right. I don’t.
Bipolar Disorder: Don’t you feel more creative and more productive when you’re a little bit Hypomanic? Or even a little bit depressed? I’m great at giving you ideas for gloomy poetry, aren’t I?
Iris: I do feel more creative and productive at those times, yes. But, what you’re offering isn’t all good. You know that.
Bipolar Disorder: Well, yeah. Of course it’s not. Why else would they call it *trick* or treat? I gave you a treat. I gave you that short story. Now it’s time for my trick.
Iris: I’m not interested in your trick.
Bipolar Disorder: Ugh! Do you know how boring it is? Being in your brain when you take such good care of yourself that I hardly ever get to have any fun?
Iris: That sounds like your problem, not mine. I’m much happier when I’m not having to manage your symptoms very often.
Bipolar Disorder: I want candy! I want candy this month! This month is Halloween!
Iris: You’re behaving like a spoiled toddler. Your temper tantrum isn’t going to change my mind.
Bipolar Disorder: This is the month for candy! If I don’t get some candy, some fun, in your brain this month I’ll… Well, I’ll…. I’ll pout! That’s what I’ll do.
Iris: See? What did I say? Just like a spoiled toddler.
Bipolar Disorder: So, you’re going to deny me any more sugar? And you’re going to deny me more nights of broken sleep too?
Iris: Yes. You get to come along with me this month. I don’t have any choice in that. But you are not in charge of me. I am the one making decisions here. Not you. Understood?
Bipolar Disorder: Fine. Have it your way. Be boring!
Iris: Good. But, I’m not bored, by the way.
Bipolar Disorder: What do you mean?
Iris: I’ve been transcribing out conversation. Every word. I’m saving it, and I’m sure it will become very useful for me as a reminder.
Bipolar Disorder: What reminder? For what?
Iris: For when you try this again next month. Though I’m sure you’ll be demanding Thanksgiving candy next time. Thanks for your input!
Bipolar Disorder: What?! No way! You tricked ME!
Iris: Happy Halloween!